Don't ask, just live.

My Revelation at Saved Festival

When Parachute Band performed this song, I was soooo overwhelmed with Jesus’ love for me. 

That night, when the first line “He is jealous for me” was sung and shown in the screen, I broke down and wept so passionately. Sure, I have cried in Christian concerts before, but only flowing tears and in silence. Not like this one. I got so choked up by my own tears I could not bring myself to sing even if my mind wanted to.

When I heard and saw “He is jealous for me,” I had my first revelation. Thinking about it still brings me to tears, but I let myself feel all of these. I let myself be consumed in Christ.

I had this vision of Jesus. He was watching me. He was watching me live my life. I was drinking, smoking, engaging in lustful thought. I thought what I was doing was just nothing and doing no harm to my Christianity. He was watching me. And he was sad. He was in pain. For all the moments I have prioritized other things, especially immoral things, over Him, He is jealous for me.

I felt humiliated with myself. I felt angry with myself. I was letting my life be pulled into the darkness. I was letting Satan in, I was letting Satan win. How could I fathom that thought? How could I let him near me? How could I go so far away from Jesus?

Then, I heard Parachute Band sing, “I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way that He loves us, oh how He loves us…”

I felt as if Jesus right then and there has forgiven me.

I realized, I don’t have time to think of all my sins, my mistakes, my dirt and my past, I have no time to dwell on all my wrongdoings and weaknesses, because Jesus’ love is so much more greater than that. He loves me so much more, even with all my scars and my blemishes and my failures. I don’t have time to look back on everything I’ve done wrong because Jesus was right there filling me up with His unfailing, forgiving, saving love.

He is jealous for us. Whenever we put something else over Him, it hurts Him. It aches His heart. He is jealous for us because He loves us soooooooo much. I cannot even begin to explain to you how much He loves us. He died for us. He gave up His own life for us, because He loves us. And everytime we give ourselves up for other things, He is jealous. He is jealous because He wants us. He wants our all, including our darkness and our shame and our doom. He loves us and He wants to embrace us in His love. He wants to heal us, change us, renew us, hold us, protect us, ease our pain, adore us and love us.

He does want us to love Him back but that’s not the point. The point is that He loves us and wants us to come back to Him, JUST SO HE CAN LOVE US MORE. His love for us means far more than our love for Him. He still loves us even if we don’t love Him, even if it hurts Him and makes Him jealous. He loves us.

None of our mistakes mean anything compared to how He loves us. Instead of dwelling on our impurities and imperfection, let us dwell in His intense love for us.

His love is so majestic, so big, so great, so huge, nothing I could say could come close to expressing His love. It’s something you have to experience for yourself, only through coming back to Him. And trust me, He will gladly welcome you back in His arms.

That’s what I experienced last night. In just one song, Jesus revealed His love to me, and I vowed from that moment on to recommit myself to Him. To truly give my life to Him. To truly let Him love me the way He loves me.

Oh, how He loves us.